Friday, November 04, 2005

Group Story

mprov13 said...
so, how's this for an idea:

let's start telling a story. anyone can add whatever they want. bend the plot, create characters, anything. ok. i'll start:


as the door opened, i could just barely see that there was movement in the adjacent room. the voices, almost hushed in a whisper, could just be heard. the woman swept by me, distracting me for only a moment, as i tried to hear what was being said.

"...don't get rid of that guy. there's no point...but, if you do, i'll..."

"mr. santos, he'll be ready for you in a second."

i sat up a little straighter and smiled at her in that manufactured way that was expected. she disappered into the room closing the door behind her.

i refocused on my surroundings: that awful rented office waiting room furniture with the obligatory copies of prints by artists that could have come out of a cracker jacks box. the avacado colored lamps with the 60 watt bulbs that couldn't quite light the room. the industrial carpet that isn't really any color at all. and, that smell that always seems to permediate these places, a whisp of blended somethings that probably came in a take-out box. and me.

Puddle: Chapter 2
Strange, I thought: what kind of doctor wouldn't have a better place than this? I squirmed a little. Still, try as hard as I could, couldn't wipe out that snippet I'd overheard: don't get rid of that guy. . . . Who'd proposed getting rid of anyone? And why? After all, this was a gynecologists' office. I didn't think I'd let Cricket come back here. It wasn't passing the sniff test. At all. And it wasn't me.

I was beginning to mull that over, when they called me to come get Cricket. No, definitely not again. Even if I had to chip in some bucks to make sure she found someone better than this.

"You okay Sugar?"

"Guess so. I think. Don't know if I want to do this again, anytime soon, though."

"Don't worry. You won't have to."

"But --"

"But me no buts, youngster. Papa Jack's got something else in mind. You'll get whatever help you need. So worry not."

She did look worried though. Her face kind of knotted up. And I didn't think it was the anesthesia. God, this place was really giving me the creeps. I was pretty sure I was going to have to hit the 'nets. And damn, I wish I'd done it before I'd let her come here. Well, better late than never. . . . I hoped.


Continued. . . . Nov. 4, 10:15 pm
Jessica said...

Chapter 3 (Segway to catreona's comment from the last thread.)

*************************

I helped Cricket into the car and drove her home. It was a silent ride that seemed to take hours when it was actually only minutes.

I told her I would call her later, thinking that would be a better time to ask about the strange conversation I had overheard at the doctors office, and continued on to my appointment.

I walked into the waiting room and de deja vu hit me. Rented waiting room furniture, cracker jack prints, dim lights, and cheap carpet. "Just a typical waiting room" I said to myself, attempting to brush off the feeling that something strange was about to happen.

Then the door opened and I heard "Don't get rid of that guy. There's no point...but, if you do, I'll..."

The hair on the back of my neck stood up. Could I have heard that right or was I just starting to imagine things?

**************************

Chapter 4 (from catreona)

All in all, this was a most unexpected place for me to have been summoned, especially to meet...

The voices increased in volume. It sounded like the stranger - I didn't recognize her voice - was displeased at being questioned. I bristled. Who was this unknown person to raise her voice to Gov. Dean? After all, he was heading this venture. He may, perhaps, not have been perfect, but he was the force that had drawn us all together. His vision and enthusiasm had been enough to bring in doubters, to corral donors, and to form a volunteer corps. I was one of those volunteers. It made me angry and a little queasy to overhear this argument.

11 comments:

Catreona said...

Hey, Puddle, didn't you read *all* the comments on the last thread? A person could feel marginalized.

Jessica said...

Chapter 3 (Segway to catreona's comment from the last thread.)

*************************

I helped Suger into the car and drove her home. It was a silent ride that seemed to take hours when it was actually only minutes.

I told her I would call her later, thinking that would be a better time to ask about the strange conversation I had overheard at the doctors office, and continued on to my appointment.

I walked into the waiting room and de ja vou hit me. Rented waiting room furniture, cracker jack prints, dim lights, and cheap carpet. "Just a typical waiting room" I said to myself, attempting to brush off the feeling that something strange was about to happen.

Then the door opened and I heard "Don't get rid of that guy. There's no point...but, if you do, I'll..."

The hair on the back of my neck stood up. Could I have heard that right or was I just starting to imagine things?

**************************

Chapter 4 (from catreona)

All in all, this was a most unexpected place for me to have been summoned, especially to meet...

The voices increased in volume. It sounded like the stranger - I didn't recognize her voice - was displeased at being questioned. I bristled. Who was this unknown person to raise her voice to Gov. Dean? After all, he was heading this venture. He may, perhaps, not have been perfect, but he was the force that had drawn us all together. His vision and enthusiasm had been enough to bring in doubters, to corral donors, and to form a volunteer corps. I was one of those volunteers. It made me angry and a little queezy to overhear this argument.

Catreona said...

Brava, Jessica! Fancy footwork, there. Also, I like the creepy atmosphere we're beginning to feel, with increasing force.

Think Puddle's character is actually named Cricket, and called Sugar by Papa Jack Santos.

What does Cricket and Jack's problem have to do with Gov. Dean's venture? Who is the mysterious man everyone seems to want to get rid of? Be the next contributor to our group story so Jessica, Puddle, mprov and I can find out!

mprov13 said...

i think it would be ok to have permission to edit as you go. a new entry could change the "woman" in my first paragraph to a nurse, for example? it would lend the ability to tweak the story into line. if an edit caused an up-roar among the writers it could always be changed back. total fluidity???

Jessica said...

When I lived in NC and my mom lived in NY, we did this kind of thing....except we each wrote a paragraph and then *snail mailed* it back and forth...this was in 1995, before everyone had email.

It was a romance novel...we never did finish it (I moved back up north to NY)

Catreona said...

Good idear, mprov.

Jessica, you did this with your mother? She must be a very special sort of mother. Mine likes my poetry, but thinks that writing fiction is silly. Odd, considering she reads fiction *sigh*

Catreona said...

I've been thinking about Jack and Cricket...

Jack isn't Cricket's father, but a godfather, courtesy uncle, friend of her late parents, something of that sort. He loves her but has no clue how to care for a young girl, much less a young girl in a family way; and, well, how many people have experience caring for a young girl in a family way thanks to a galaxy-hopping, planet-skipping, lowdown, deadbeat alien?

Cricket met him in a bar - a place she shouldn't have been in the first place. They were both a bit tipsy, alcohol having the same intoxicating effects on the carbon-based alien as on humans. They left together and found a quiet place where they could get better acquainted. Neither being familiar with the other's reproductive arrangements, there was an accident. While the alien was playing with and kissing Cricket's, er, female organ, he inadvertently impregnated her. This became apparent in a couple of weeks but, when Cricket told him, he beat a hasty retreat without leaving a forwarding address, cell phone number, or anything.

She was so distraught when she told Jack all this, that he didn't have the heart to scold her. Doing so wouldn't have done any good anyway. The deed was done, the trouble caused. And, Jack was unlikely to find the errant father. Cricket could barely pronounce his name, much less remember the name of his ship. Chicago had a thriving spaceport, and there was no way of tracing one alien on planet leave. So, he had sighed, and dug out the Yellow Pages, and taken Cricket to the first OBGYN listed.

Now, this is all speculation, and silly speculation at that. Feel free to ignore or even erase it.

Catreona said...

OK, working for the moment on the assumption that you guys are gonna buy my sppeculations in the previous comment, I've started working on an idear that came to me today. But, it's late and I'm very tired. So, will have to finish it tomorrow. Just to give everybody fair warning. *grin*

Catreona said...

OK, I got a little carried away. 1,778 words carried away, actually. So, I dumped it at my LiveJournal works in progress blog.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/catreona/

As I've said, it's pretty far out, and not everybody's into SF, or distopias, or whatever. But, it's there if anybody's interested.

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